I posted this originally over at thesmartlyoc.com but wanted to share it again, because I believe it’s the most important thing I can do as a man.
Also know as the head sacrificer. So maybe that last word is made up, spell check didn’t seem to like it at least. It’s actually a revolutionary term in my book, one that has changed the way I live as a husband and father. It actually stems from a passage in the bible that is often over looked and over shadowed, Ephesians 5:25:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
You know what this means? It means you will do anything to provide for and assure the safety of your wife and family. It means that you are there for them when they need you, that if you are a family of four and there’s only enough food for three to eat then you go hungry. It could mean that you may have to stay home and care for you children because it is better financially for your family, or it could mean that you have to work three jobs to make sure they are clothed, fed, and warm. Being the head sacrificer means you are willing to lay everything on the line for your wife and family.
Men should know that this is hard, really hard. By nature we are all selfish creatures and the hardest thing to do is put others first. We need to learn to sacrifice our time so our wives feel cherished and our children feel loved. This is a new age in manhood! No more hands off attitudes. We need to be active participants in our families. As husbands and fathers we need to take pride in our sacrifices. Right, you might say, sacrifices are supposed to be painful, but I guarantee that when your wife looks at you with love in her eyes and your children are laughing and healthy nothing will hurt. Being the head sacrificer is also the most rewarding act a man can do – to lay down his life for his family is both noble and honorable. It is a shame more men don’t realize this. The man who can be a head sacrificer earns the respect of his family, and his family will grow stronger because of him.
I’ve been though it, I should know. I spent seven months as the primary caregiver to my son while my wife provided financially. It was hard, it was a blow to my ego and manhood., but I came out the other side with a whole new perspective. I learned that nothing on earth is more important then my family, to see my son grow and learn because of things I taught him was amazing. For my wife to know that she wasn’t alone in her parenting, and that she could trust that her son was well taken care of has only led to a stronger marriage and partnership between us. The experience taught me that there is more then one way to provide for my wife and family, my masculinity is no longer rooted in a paycheck. It’s rooted firmly in my growing sons and beautiful wife.
We as men need to pick up the mantle of the head sacrificer to show our wives that they can always count on us, that they can lean on us and we won’t let them fall. We need to show our sons how to grow into strong men, who can carry the torch on after we are gone. We need to show our daughters the type of man that they deserve to have when they become wives. The time to set the example is now, to show our strength through our sacrifice.