I’d like to tell you a little story, this is a true story from my one long summer as a pool life guard. What prompted this? I was looking through one of the million kids catalog’s that we get a month and saw probably the worst poolside invention since cement boots. take a look:
I’ll paint you a picture of why this is the worst thing ever, walk with me down memory lane..
It was a hot August day in Southern California, as I sat there in my bright red shorts, and t-shirt with bold red cross across it. It was an easy day watching the community pool, lots of families having fun. There was a big group of parents with toddlers hanging out in the baby pool having quite an animated conversation. One little boy, wearing the above flotation device, feeling adventurous no doubt, got up and headed to the big pool, his parents paid no attention, but I was watching, because you know, it was my job to watch. As the little boy walked closer to the big pool, I took off my hat and sandals, put down my water, and waited. Now I like to give parents the chance to watch their own children, so I waited until the last second, and sure enough as the little guy reached down to touch the water he fell in, head first, and couldn’t right himself. I reached down picked him up, and brought him sputtering water and crying to his clueless Mother.
This isn’t a rant about the un-attentive Mother, although there is absolutely NO substitute for an attentive parent on the pool deck. Nor is this about me looking for some kind of praise for saving a little kids life. This is a rant against the inner-tube vest. You see, when I child falls into a pool head first wearing one of these things they can’t right themselves, they just don’t have the skill or strength to do it, so they get stuck with their feet in the air and head under water, which leads to well, you know, a much bigger issue.
So please people, don’t put these on your kids this summer, if you must put something on them, make it an actual life vest, or better yet, get in the water and play with them, you can thank me later.